On Manners

Ken Griffey Jr. executes a successful take-out slide.

G: Fans are booing but that's a very clean play by Griffey.

K: I tell you what, we've had two tough slides into second base by Reds players that are perfectly clean, and right out of the old, taking a page out of the past. None of this, oh, "sorry old chap", and tea and crumpets after the game!

On Employee Loyalty

Jose Reyes and Ruben Gotay start the Bottom 1st with back-to-back homers.

G: I'm chuckling to myself because, you realize that the Mets just fired their hitting coach, and replaced him, so far, with nobody. And right now nobody's doing a heck of a job!

On Food

K: I haven't heard the guys in the truck in a while, they awake down there, they fall asleep?

G: I'm...I'm told they were having cheeseburgers.

K: Cheeseburgers...we can't eat up here! We can't...we can't do a broadcast with food in our mouth!

G: You can't?! What does a Tootsie Pop count as?

K: That's not food. That's candy.

G: So you can eat candy during a game but you can't eat food?

K: Well you can't...chomp on a burger, or a french fry, cause you, you know.

G: I could guarantee you, if I put a cheeseburger in front of you, you'd be able to eat it and work at the same time.

K: You could probably put a pizza there, I'd...

On Age Acceptance

G: Lined the other way, right into the glove of Helton, and Lo Duca retired, one away.

K: Well, this is a big hang-with-em, and there's a Golden Glover right there, in Todd Helton. I like his goatee, don't you?

G: He looks...very different.

K: That's a, that's a very, very mature, full goatee.

G: Well, we mentioned it when the Rockies were in New York, it's the Ken Caminiti look.

K: Yes, that's right!

G: Carlos Beltran takes ball one. You think he uses, uh...

K: I don't think he's old enough for Just For Men yet.

G: No?

K: Come on, no. Look at the, there's no gray in the sideburns.

G: But that's the thing, there's no gray at all.

K: Well...

G: "You know there's no play for..."

K: "For Mister", I forget the line! I should know that!

G: Come on!

K: That's Walt's line!

G: 2-0 to Beltran who's 0 for 2, and he takes the fastball for a strike. "There's no play, for Mister..."

K: "Mister Gray."

G: "Re-jected."

K: "Rejected." Yes I said...

G: You got a lot of money for that!

K: I...that's...the gift that keeps giving! I use it, you know I use it.

G: Big cut by Beltran.

K: I mean my mustache now is almost entirely gray, and before I started this trip, I used it.

G: Looks very nice by the way.

K: It does look nice. I mean you wouldn't know that I'm a 53-year old man, look at that, not an ounce of gray! I can still trick 'em!

G: And no wrinkles either!

K: Well...

On Clothing

G: Alex Rodriguez tops the All-Star voting.

K: As he should have.

G: Not many votes for his spouse, who wore a uh...rather...um...I don't even know how to say it!

K: Well, say, don't.

G: A t-shirt she should not have worn to the ballpark.

K: Next!

G: I...

K: Hey...

G: What are these people thinking?

K: That's your First Amendment rights now.

G: ....I see. Should I see if I can sign you up with the ACLU?

K: No! Definitely not. (G: Willy Taveras on deck and then Jamey Carroll.) I will not comment on that neither.